In an old episode of The Cosby Show, 6th Grader Rudy Huxtable feared attending class on the first day of school because of bodily insecurities. She compared herself to other young girls around her age who were more developed in the chest area. Her parents reassured her that she was developing normally, and that she had nothing to worry about, but that did not replace her negative body image. Rudy even insisted on using breast enhancement cream and staying home for “48 hours” until it worked. This episode aired somewhere between the 1980s and 1990s, but the issue it presented is still relevant today. If you are an attentive mother yourself, you may be wondering how to address the negative self image your daughter has as well. In this post, I will explain the best style solutions for a tween with a small, underdeveloped chest so that she can remove insecurities, improve self-esteem, and be confident in everyday settings like school or church.
According to a Michigan Medicine national representative report, nearly one in five parents noted that their daughter is self-conscious about her breasts. This is not exclusive to teens, but such issues of bodily insecurities do begin from a young age. Dr. Susan Woolford, a child obesity expert and pediatrician at University of Michigan Health states that "As kids get older, they become more self-aware, are more likely to compare themselves to peers and may be more influenced by media portrayals about beauty and the most desirable body shape, face and look." Although issues of negative self-image is more common in teens than adolescents ages 10 to 12, it is an issue worth dealing with early on as parents.
Even more detrimental than the media, including social media, is the peers of young people. As reported by Michigan Medicine, “one in three parents say their child has been treated unkindly because of their appearance most often by other children, strangers or other family members.” And as time goes on, if parents don’t respond to their child’s needs, and receive the appropriate support, they may witness a series of mental and emotional health complications as their children get older. According to Woolford, “a preoccupation with appearance and body dissatisfaction may lead to decreased mental health and emotional well being and increase risks for eating disorders, depression and low self-esteem.” No parent wants to see their child suffer or refuse to take part in various family and other social activities like healthy children would. The more you speak to your child and address concerns of body image, the healthier they will grow up.
Michigan Medicine also states that “Parents of teens are also more likely than parents of younger children ages 8-12 to report their child is insecure about their appearance.” So if you are a parent with a tween girl who is insecure, do not think you are alone. Your child may not be a teenager yet, but it’s okay to admit it if you are struggling to help her manage her body insecurities already. And if you are an attentive and caring parent, it’s best to be there for your child early on.
One of the most exciting things about watching your child grow is admiring their new sense of independence and style. They get to choose the clothes they like and want to wear. If you aren’t already, go on a shopping spree with your daughter and have her pick out some clothing that will suit her style and allow her to feel confident. Here’s some style tips for pre-teen girls struggling with seeing themselves as beautiful due to an undeveloped chest. Feel free to try any or all of the following.
1. Suggest That the Two of You Find Chic Outfits with Layers
Don’t ignore your daughter’s own unique sense of style, but see if you can create outfits with layers, such as adding blazers, sweaters and jackets to an under shirt or simple tank-top. She may already have quite a few items at home that can work. Such outfits are also very easy to put together. They are also very common, but if she doesn’t do this already, it’s a great solution to the problem of insecurity due to an undeveloped chest. Outfits with layers create bulk around the chest area, especially if the outer layer has a thicker or more rugged texture.
For a more casual look, jean or varsity jackets will do the trick. They are also the go-tos of spring and fall, when the weather is changing and it’s not too cold nor too hot outside. Jean and varsity jackets also allow you to layer up without adding too much bulk, so you can look great outdoors as well as indoors. They’re not as thick as heavy sweaters or coats. Rather, they’re just enough to make you feel comfortable and not too warm while looking great at the same time.
If an upscale look is desired, layering with a blazer is an excellent way to look grown-up in a fun way. Whether you want something for church, to appear professional when going for class president, or are accompanying mom to work, this look will do perfectly. It can also be chic, preppy, or vintage, depending on what bottoms or under shirts you add to it and what style your daughter is interested in. Blazers also come in different colors and styles. It can be fun to play around with your choices, mixing patterns that don’t typically go together or textures that are totally different from one another. You can even try unpopular mixtures of colors, such as pairing a bright and warm colored blazer with a textured and cool colored bottom. Surprise your daughter and let her surprise you.
2. Recommend Looking for Fashionable Clothing with Busy Patterns
When it comes to girls, you’re likely to find a lot of clothing with floral patterns. Let this not discourage you. Florals can have a reputation for causing one to look out-of-date or too girly, but when it comes to tops and appearing confident, busy floral patterns can be a useful option. If you like floral patterns, there are many ways to go all out, such as with two-piece suits, whole rompers, and maxi dresses. However, if florals aren’t usually your thing, and if that’s all you’re finding, feel free to either layer or pair a top with a darker and less girly under shirt or plain bottom.
Plaid is timeless. It’s been available within a variety of styles for many years, and I propose it will be there for many more to come. So it’s worth purchasing and holding on to without fear or worry that it’ll no longer be in style. You’ll find it to be quite versatile, with the ability to complete any style. Punk, sporty, classic, and athleisure are four examples of very different types of fashion styles that all incorporate plaid. As your daughter grows older, and her taste in fashion changes, she can get a plaid top that can be paired with a variety of bottoms, and other clothing elements, that can create the look she wants. Regardless of how you choose to dress it up, it’s a busy pattern that can serve as a cover up for a small chest and encourage confidence.
Geometric shapes add to the list of fashionable and current clothing with busy patterns, and will naturally draw strangers’, family, and friends’ attention away from the bust and more on your daughter, who she is, and what she has to say. Like plaid, geometric shapes can fit into a variety of styles. Whether you are going to the gym, a business meeting, or a formal function, you’ll find it to compliment any look. You may especially be attracted to clothing with geometric shapes if you are an artsy kind of person and like that style. So young girls with a desire for adventure and who don’t mind being a little daring once in a while when it comes to fashion may go for tops, dresses, and two-piece suits with huge and unique shapes. You can even go further with this idea by choosing clothing pieces with bright colors and asymmetrical design elements. It’s okay to have fun with fashion, especially when you’re young.
3. Pick Out Plenty of Unique Tops with Fancy Chest and Neck Details
It’s easy to go upscale here and dress formally. So if you’d really like an elegant look, tops and dresses with frills and fancy buttons will do well for covering up an undeveloped chest and looking fabulous as well. There’s no doubt you’ll look chic, classic and romantic. However, if your style is anything but glamorous, and you want to dress up, a blouse or dress with lace will add some elegant flair. You may think these clothing pieces are a bit on the vintage side, but don’t allow yourself to feel that they’re out-of-date or worry that you’ll look out-of-style. Ruffles and lace only add elegance, and what’s more elegant-looking than a timeless, glamorous and “old-fashioned” look?
The easiest way to dress casually, on the other hand, is to add jeans. Let it compliment your outfit as a bottom, or go with an all-jean outfit such as a dress, jumpsuit or romper. As for tops with chest and neck details, breast pockets and exaggerated or stand-out bows at the collarbone are the ideal for preteen girls looking to dress nice and fashionably conceal their bust. You’re likely to find button-down shirts, jean dresses and rompers with pockets on either side of the chest. This style element is easy to pull off. The quite common breast pockets are on many clothing pieces and can be tailored to create almost any style. Many parents may also like to see their children in bows, suggesting that their daughters look like their very cute little girls. If your daughter has not outgrown bows or has a dislike for them altogether, a large bow at the neck of a top or dress can do the job of removing insecurities about a small bust by stylishly making it less noticeable.
Clothes to Avoid
As you and your daughter work towards creating a new wardrobe that helps her feel more confident and grow into a beautiful young woman, there is one thing that the two of you should avoid including. That is tight clothing. Avoid purchasing or planning outfits with tight tops or dresses. Anything made with spandex or is particularly tight around the chest area will highlight that part of the body rather than obscure it. One common style element in many dresses, and perhaps tops as well, is a band of elastic which creates mini ruffles around the chest. While this may look very nice for a young girl, it’s helpful to avoid choosing such clothing.
Style Presentations and Consultations
If this all sounds confusing, and you’re still in a fog about what your daughter should wear to boost her self-esteem and improve her self-image, you can download my free visual style presentation. Included is a style portfolio of eight different outfits, a shopping list for you to purchase each clothing piece and accessory, and a look book with even more outfits and purchase links. Easily find looks with layers, patterns, and plenty of chest and neck details. Created with Rudy Huxtable in mind, who in The Cosby Show goes to school on weekdays and church on Sundays, you’ll also find both formal and informal outfits your daughter will like and that will make you feel proud to see her in.
Scheduling a consultation can also be worth the effort if you’d like to discuss your daughter’s style and wardrobe options further. Things like color, body shape and unique interests can play an important role in choosing clothing items that will assist your daughter in feeling more confident about herself and her body. The most important conversation is the one you’ll have with your daughter, in which you’ll discuss the clothes that allow her to feel good in her own skin and the process of eliminating the ones that don’t. A personal stylist will serve as a guide throughout that process, helping to discover the specific items that meet your daughter’s lifestyle or tailor her current wardrobe to reflect her evolving persona.
No parent wants to see their child unhappy, and when you take active steps to be involved and support their proper upbringing, you are able to enjoy more happy moments with them. Daughters who are insecure about a small and undeveloped chest, but who have parents that steer the wheel towards a positive body image by helping them pick out outfits are more likely to grow up emotionally, mentally and physically healthy. Whether your choice is to go shopping together, plan outfits using what’s already in her closet, or schedule a personal stylist consultation, being there as a source of support is something that she will take with her for many years to come.
